The beginning and the end of each year are very significant in dating calendar. As the year 2017 rolls by in the next 48 hours, quite a number of people in troubled relationships are thinking seriously about what next to do: either to quit or re-strategise to make their affairs work.
I quite empathise with people battling with recurring failed relationships and, in particular, those whose precious times, years and hard earned resources are being squandered over fantasied and superficial affairs. This is the lot of many singles especially those in their 30s and early 40s. Single parents feel the pain the most.
There are single women who, after investing in relationships with men they hoped to build homes, came out dejected, sapped and exploited. It is a regrettable experience for any caring and trusting woman that falls prey to a selfish man; such a woman becomes harder, mean and consequently stingy. Men who have experienced sour relationships equally have tearful tales to tell.
There are three common problems associated with men that stay so long in relationships without consummation:
• An average man do have more than one woman to choose from. While he might have identified a ‘good match’ among his lady friends, his crave for a more endowed, economically stable and more beautiful choice might propel him to play away more of his time.
• These days, many men are being plagued with serious economic instability, low cash in-flow and joblessness. This is a fundamental problem that could not only prolong relationships but may likely collapse them.
• Men’s ability to decipher between the type of women they ‘need’ and those they ‘want’ is seriously lacking. In most cases, many men are so confused not knowing what to look out for in women. Rather, they are more inclined to go for women they want and not those they need. Men that value peace, fidelity, marital stability and partners that will complement their efforts to actualise their dreams won’t be blind to good wife materials when they see them.
Unlike men, the major problem confronting single women is getting serious, responsible and committed men that will make good their promises towards marriage. Many women are tired of motion-without-movement kind of relationships. Several men are not just enthusiastic about moving their affairs to the next level thereby keeping the fate of their partners hanging in the balance indefinitely. What a frustrating condition!
Sometimes I find it somehow difficult to blame the men because some women feel comfortable clinging to unproductive and purposeless relationships for too long. They know their men are not the serious type, yet, they remain optimistic just to feel attached. Some women remain involved with their flippant partners pending when they meet better suitors. Another set of women hang in there just to feel among whenever her mates are talking about their affairs; at least, they will have something to say about men in their own lives, too.
Like men, some women are the architects of their own prolonged spinsterhood. They have problem of making the right choices because of the tempting offers available to them. Greedy ones would care more about the type of cars, jobs or businesses, and charming look of guys. Whereas intelligent women should concern herself with the potentials, dreams, aspiration, godly traits and commitment to the relationship.
Time-wasting affairs should be discarded immediately. Single and searching women should wake up to reality and go for who they really need. They must stop dreaming about hunting already-made guys as it is a delusion to keep them perpetually in the ‘market’. Such adventure often leads to a regrettable end if you marry a man because of his material wealth without bringing an added value to his life or the family.
Many women, like some men, too, can’t distinguish between who they need and who they want. Need is basic. God only provides for your needs and not your wants. In most cases, wants are ostentatious in outlook, profligate in package, inordinate in desire and sometimes morally abnormal.
The need of every man and woman is to marry who has the potential to be great now or in the future; a partner that will ensure peace of mind, faithful in the relationship, actualizer of dreams, a great friend and hardworking person. With this kind of a partner, other expectations, desires and goals are very attainable with patience, love, prayers and faith in God. Let your unproductive love affair roll off with 2017.
Take stock of your relationship, be candid to yourself in the assessment and you will surely know if it is worth keeping or not. Terminate time-wasting partners in your life. Quit any burdensome and purposeless relationship. Think on the way forward and relaunch your net into the ocean of love for a new ‘fish’ in the New Year.
Compliments of the season!